Posted in Life

Help! I’m Pressure-Phobic

I have been doing a lot of introspective thinking lately and am currently trying to work on Self-Acceptance. This is quite a tall order as I am incredibly hard on myself – so the notion of accepting myself with all my faults and flaws is somewhat mind-boggling. When thinking about these various faults and flaws, I have discovered that one of the things that annoys me most about myself is the fact that I’m petrified of pressure – to this end I have diagnosed myself as having ‘Pressure-Phobia.’

Throughout my 36 years on this planet I have never had a problem setting myself high standards and doing the hard yards required to achieve them – I just seem to struggle with the final piece of the success puzzle: Follow-through.

jazz ballet001

When I was younger I did Jazz Ballet. I worked my way up the grades, went in competitions and danced for fun. I was actually pretty good too. However, upon finishing my Pre-Elementary Grade and being presented with the award for my year – I quit! Yes, quit! And why? Because I had heard a rumour that in order to pass Elementary you had to do the full splits. Uh oh … pressure! The fact of the matter was, I was only about an inch away from the full splits and it would have been easy with a bit of practice. But, no add a bit of pressure and expectation and I sprint the other way!

Later on, when I was at University completing my Bachelor of Communications degree, we were set an assignment to complete a radio interview. The person with the best interview would then get the opportunity to air it live on a local radio station. Given that I was studying in NZ’s most populated city, Auckland, this was quite a big deal.
So, I set my mind to it and interviewed a young girl competing in triathlons. As part of the interview I got a fantastic quote where she explained that when she needed to relief herself during a race she would either use a bottle type contraption hooked up to a hose, or just pee her pants! It was golden!
To this end, I was picked to air my interview on the radio – but guess what? I didn’t show up! That’s right … I made some lame arse excuse about it being too early and not being able to catch a bus! Another example of a missed opportunity because of pressure and expectation.

So what is this Pressure-Phobia all about? Maybe it’s fear of failure? Maybe I don’t think I deserve the reward? I’m not sure. One thing I do know is that it has nothing to do with confidence. I have always had oodles of confidence and growing up I am sure there were many occasions I embarrassed my friends with my extroverted behaviour. My friends would say I had ‘no shame’ which was in fact quite true, and started from a young age.
easter bunny001 To the left you will see a photo of me dressed up as the “Easter Bunny” just before I ‘hopped’ around the neighbourhood delivering Easter eggs!

I was never worried about getting out there and wearing whatever was required to get the job done … the show must go on, as they say!

13 year old me as Cha-Cha in grease musical.
13 year old me as Cha-Cha in ‘Grease’ musical.

I was not only confident, in fact I was quite the diva!

16 year old me in 'Cabaret' musical.
16 year old me in ‘Cabaret’ musical.

So, the homework I set myself for the remainder of 2013 is to stop freaking out every time a wee bit of pressure comes my way – as it may lead to great things!

How do you handle pressure? Are you a fellow sufferer or do you take it all in your stride?

Posted in Life

Is it finally ok to be gay?

This is not what I intended to blog about today … but yesterday I happened upon an episode of Katie (Couric) who was interviewing the mother of Matthew Shepard – a university student who was murdered in 1998 for being gay. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Shepard)

Judy Shepard was saying that the world has changed since then and become a much more tolerant place of the gay community.

I think this is probably true to a degree, but to what extent is society at large now tolerant? I think some countries are definitely making huge steps in the right direction: My birthplace, New Zealand, for one, who this year legalised same-sex marriages (http://www.news.com.au/world-news/gay-marriage-legalised-in-new-zealand/story-fndir2ev-1226622937625)

028635-new-zealand-gay-marriage

Gay-rights supporters in Wellington kiss to celebrate New Zealand becoming the first Asia-Pacific country to legalise same-sex marriage. Picture: AFP

However, I believe in some states of America people can still be fired for being gay and I assume hate crimes of this nature still take place in the world (I don’t know for sure as I try to live in a little insulated bubble: (ref: https://katzrambles.wordpress.com/2013/07/18/me-and-my-censored-life/)

Having two children of my own, I hope that they will be growing up in a more tolerant, accepting world and I will definitely be doing my best to ensure they can judge people on their character rather than what particular box society has categorised them into.

I have to admit I have very little first-hand knowledge on this subject and would love to hear your thoughts on whether you think society is becoming more tolerant of gay people and whether it is a possibility that hate crimes, such as that committed against Matthew Shepard, will one day cease to exist.

Keep smiling,

Kat

Posted in Life

Me And My Censored Life

censored

I am careful about the movies I see and books I read for fear of nightmares.

I don’t read the papers or watch the nightly news in case a story appears detailing something heinous a fellow human being has done to another – and I thought I would be a Journalist, go figure!

Many a time in my 36 years I have thought how I would love to be made of stronger stuff and be a right hard-arse, but the reality is I’m soft as a baby’s bum and I can’t see that changing anytime soon.

Am I naive? Maybe so.  Some may even describe me as ‘ignorant’ for such behaviour, but, to be honest, being soft is just in my make up and being hard-nosed isn’t.  It’s my bag baby!

P.S. To all my hard-arse counterparts out there – If there is anything happening in the world you think I should know about i.e. a natural disaster heading my way, could you please give me the heads up!

In the meantime I will crawl back into my comfortable bubble!

Keep smiling,

Kat x

Posted in Life

Blonde By Nature

Kat the co-driver

Although now a brunette, I am, and always will be, Blonde By Nature – meaning although I consider myself a somewhat intelligent human being I am prone to bouts of utter ‘blondeness’ where I can say or do incredibly stupid things.

This ‘blondeness’ can take many shapes or forms – one of which is my uncanny ability to hear song lyrics slightly differently than they actually are.
For instance : Dave Dobbyn’s hit “Slice of Heaven” was always a ‘Slice of Lemon’ to me!
Tom Petty’s “Runnin’ Down A Dream” was ‘Running Down The Street’ and Joe Cocker’s “Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong” was ‘The Lift Takes Us Up Where We Belong.’
Once I actually found out the accurate lyrics – I still thought mine made more sense!

Alongside this talent, I also possess the ability to come out with some right ‘dosies’ and do some really dense things. If I were to list all of the occasions where this has happened, although amusing, this post would become pretty tedious and long-winded.

So, instead I thought I would just fill you in on my Pièce de résistance – my best blonde moment to date!

It all began on a sunny day approximately 20 years ago. My friend and I had recently acquired our drivers licences’ so thought it most appropriate to take a cruise in her mother’s car. As it was such a gorgeous day, we decided the beach would be an ideal destination.

So off we went departing from Tauranga, heading over the harbour bridge, destined for Mount Maunganui. My friend in the driver’s seat and myself, as co-driver, in the passenger seat.
Although the bridge was built approximately 4 years earlier motorists were still charged a toll, payable when you passed through the lanes. Some of these lanes were manned by people in little booths and others were AUTOMATIC.

So there we were cruising along, windows down, blonde hair flying – listening to “Slice of Lemon” – whoops “Heaven” on the radio when we started heading towards the toll booths.

Just as I was pondering which lane would be the fastest, my friend veered towards the AUTOMATIC lane.
Panic-stricken, I grabbed the steering wheel and shouted “Stop! You can’t go in there … Your car is a MANUAL!”

Lucky for me, I also possess the ability to laugh at myself!

Keep smiling,
Kat x

Posted in Life

La Joie De Vivre

With the celebratory season upon us and a new year ahead, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on my life and how I am living it.

I know that sounds pretty deep, but I figure if I get in the habit of doing this more often, it won’t be such a big deal.

First of all, I have to say I lead a charmed life : I have a devoted husband, amazing children, a supportive family and fabulous friends.

That being said, I don’t feel like I am embracing this charming life as I should or being grateful for it as often as I would like.

It is all too easy to get bogged down in the stresses of daily life and not take time out to ‘smell the roses’.  However, I have decided I not only want to smell the roses, I want to soak up their fragrance until it is seeping out of my pores and give my life a bear hug so hard it is gasping for breath.

‘La Joie De Vivre’ translates as the ‘joy of living’ and this is the mission I am setting myself for the New Year and beyond.

I want to experience the joy of life as I constant in my life not just in fleeting moments.  I want to ‘take the bull by the horns’ and launch myself into such a joyful, happy state that I may not recognise my former self.

All sounds pretty zen and cool right?  By how the heck do I achieve this?  I get the sneaking suspicion that I am not going to get an ‘injection of grasshoppers’ and leap out of bed tomorrow ecstatically happy and joyful without a bit of effort on my part.

So, I think I will start with myself and “Learning to Live With Myself”.

I would love to delve into this now, but the demands of motherhood beckon, so will have to wait for another time.

In the meantime, have a Merry Christmas and Keep Smiling!